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Dr Klaus Bung
68 Brantfell Road
Blackburn BB1-8DL

Teachers tell you WHAT to learn, IDYLL (R) shows you HOW to learn it.

023

Klaus Bung:
Mad dogs and Englishmen:
a story about the sad end of an English dog

This essay introduces the story of an Englishman who was bitten by a mad dog. The dog must have been mad, otherwise he would not have bitten a pious and God-fearing man. The essay explores many uses of the words bite, bit, bitten, bits, bytes, etc.

2012-02-28 Mad dogs and Englishmen: A story about the sad end of an English dog

I have just discovered a wonderful story, "An Elegy On The Death Of A Mad Dog" by Oliver Goldsmith (1730-1774) about a dog who bit an upstanding and God-fearing man. It was written by Oliver Goldsmith, who lived from 1730-1774. Therefore his English is a bit quaint (= old-fashioned), but I think that with a bit of imagination you will be able to sort out what happens in this sad story. Just guess the few words you don't understand. The pictures will make the story even easier to understand.

It is nice to see animals who are so disciplined and listen respectfully to the preacher who tells them why one of them has died because he did not observe the law and indulged in immoral behaviour. Immoral behaviour is bad, especially if dogs do it. :-( Eventually the dog dies: the man recovers and lives.

Who bites whom?

For a dog to bite a man is, as you all know, illegal and a crime against humanity. No dog should ever bite a man. Right now it happens in Syria. Last year it happened in Libya.

But, by the same token, no man should ever bite a dog. This is also illegal and offends against a law which forbids cruelty to animals.

However, it did happen.

A burglar in Arizona did bite a police dog.
A barber once bit off the ear of a dissatisfied customer.
Boxer Mike Tyson once bit a piece out of the ear of an opponent.
In 33 AD, in Jerusalem a disciple of Jesus was more thorough and better tooled and cut off the whole ear of Malchus, servant of the High Priest. Jesus had compassion and healed it there and then. Malchus didn't even have to go to hospital. This happened when Pontius Pilate was governor of Judaea.
In Zimbabwe, an angry woman inflicted a terrible injury on her boyfriend with her teeth.
American aggrieved wife Lorena Bobbit cut off part of her husband and threw it into the bushes. This was a bit which no man likes to be without. Luckily it was recovered and re-attached in hospital.

This incident became so famous (or infamous, or notorious) that it resulted in a new word in the French language: "bobbiter" /bɔbi'te:/= "to bobbit someone", i.e. cut off your husband's bit. This is not surprising since a colloquial French word for "penis" is "la bite" /la bi:t/, it is as ambiguous in French as the English word "unique" /ju'ni:k/ is for Arab ears.

In an Arab country the English word "unique" was removed from the syllabus a few years ago to save English teachers from embarrassment because the children regularly started laughing when they had to practise pronouncing "unique" with the stress on /ni:k/. I had similar experiences in London classrooms where the children started laughing when you used the term "pronoun", because as soon as the teacher got as far as "pro", they thought of "prostitutes". Ah, children, they aren't as innocent as we like to believe! LOL

Another related true story was a problem that arose with spam filtering a few years ago. Computer programs were used which were intended to block messages containing obscene words (like "fuck", "cunt" etc) in e-mails. But these programs had the unwanted side effect that the poor citizens of the English town of Scunthorpe could no longer receive any e-mails because the filter programs detected an obscene word embedded in that name. If you properly scan that name there is nothing obscene in it, for Scunthorpe divides into scun-thorpe, where "thorpe" means "village" and "scun" means God knows what.

Three blind mice

These are true horror stories, heart-breaking, and I will conclude this section with a story where cruelty is combined with disrespect for the disabled, or, more specifically, for the "visually challenged", which is a term (fashionable but not recommended) for the blind.

It has been made into a song for children (nursery rhyme). Everybody knows it, so you might as well learn it.

Three blind mice. Three blind mice.
See how they run. See how they run.
They all ran after the farmer's wife,
Who cut off their tails with a carving knife,
Did you ever see such a sight in your life,
As three blind mice?

This is also an easy way of learning the plural of "mouse".
Singular: mouse /maʊs/
Plural: mice /maɪs/

Singular: louse /laʊs/
Plural: lice /laɪs/

But:
Singular: house /haʊs/
Plural: houses /'haʊzɪz/

The plural of "mouse" and "louse" is irregular.

The written plural of "house" is regular, but the spoken plural of "house" is irregular, since the singular /s/ changes into /z/ in the spoken plural.

Three blind mice - Link 1

Three blind mice - Link 2

Here is an Jamaican version of the song, with a different text. Link 3

Link 4

Here are American jazz musicians discussing the tune of "Three Blind Mice". Listen to this, and you can also practise understanding American English.

Note:

"to practise" (British spelling)
"to practice" (American spelling)

"his practice" (British spelling of the noun)
"his practice" (American spelling of the noun)

In brief: In America the same spelling is used for the noun and the verb. In England the spelling of the verb is different from that of the noun.

More about the words "bite", "bit", and "bitten"

The words "bit" and "bite" occur several times in the message about the mad dog who bit the man. We will now explore the usage of these words with some more examples.

Today I bite a man. (present, verb)
Yesterday I bit a man. (simple past, verb)
I have never ever bitten a dog. (compound past)
I was bitten by a mad dog. (passive form) The dog had rabies.

Forms to memorise: to bite, bit, bitten

Mad dogs and Englishmen

"Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the mid-day sun." (famous quote; proverb)

This is sometimes quoted to comment, smilingly, on the eccentric behaviour of an English person, especially in the tropics.

As is customary, the speaker will quote only the first half of the proverb, e.g. "Well, mad dogs and Englishmen". The other speaker will understand the other half of the proverb, but he will never say it. You have to be very competent in English to understand such half-spoken expressions, and even more competent and confident to use them, i.e. to say only the first half and to be sure that the other person will understand what you mean, and has understood it.

Another example of half-quoted proverbs:

You English friend reports with anguish that the price of petrol (= US: gasoline) has gone up. "So it is more expensive for me to drive to work. But, of course, it is good for Shell and the other oil companies. They will make more profit, and, alhamdu lilah, I have got some Shell shares."

You will respond: "Yes, every cloud."

Your English friend will understand: "Every cloud has a silver lining", i.e. everything bad has a good side-effect.

Proverbs and idioms

"Once bitten twice shy."

This proverb means: If you have been bitten once, you will be doubly shy, very shy and careful. If you have once had a bad experience, you will be very careful to avoid it happening to you a second time.

Examples:

You have been fined for driving too fast. You will therefore be very careful in observing the speed limits.
You have stupidly invested money on the stock exchange, hoping to get rich quickly. You will not invest money again, without checking out the risk very carefully. Especially you will not listen to the advice of stupid enthusiastic friends.
A child puts his hand into a flame. This hurts. The child will be careful not to go near a flame in future.

"He has bitten off more than he can chew." (idiom)

= He has undertaken a task which is far too difficult or big for him.

Examples:

A inexperienced boxer challenges an experienced boxer and then loses. He has bitten off more than he can chew.
A small company trying to compete with Microsoft and losing. This company has bitten off more than it can chew.
A woman offering to do the accounts for a charity and then finding that they are too complicated for her; her book-keeping experience is not sufficient. She has bitten off more than she can chew.
A small country challenges a big one; perhaps declaring war; then losing. That country has bitten off more than it can chew.

"His bark is worse than his bite." (idiom)

= He makes loud threatening noises but you need not be afraid of him because usually he is not as cruel as he sounds.

Note: This is said in analogy to a dog who barks loudly but does not really bite. The words "bark" and "bite" in this idiom are nouns and not verbs. "to bite" and "to bark" are verbs. "his bark" and "his bite" are noun phrases. "a bit" is also a noun phrase.

Example: A man says to his daughter: "If you marry this awful man, I will have him assassinated." The daughter says to her boyfriend: "Never mind him (= do not worry about my father). I know him. He is emotional, irrascible, gets angry easily. But then he calms down. After a week he will have forgotten all his threats. I'll be nice to him, kiss him and flatter him. Then he will eat out of my hand like a tame bird. You know, his bark is worse than his bite."

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A related situation is called "sabre rattling" (first used, I think, about 19th century Germany or Prussia, making agressive militarist speeches to frighten other countries); making rattling noises with one's sabre (a weapon like a sword).

More examples

a bit old-fashioned = a little old-fashioned = somewhat old-fashioned, but NOT VERY old-fashioned, only a little old-fashioned

a bit steep = too expensive, understated by pretending that it is only "a little to expensive", but this can be said with an intonation, a tone of voice, which implies strong disapproval.

Example 1:
The bride's father expects to pay £1000 for her weddings dress, and even that is considered extravagant, but she choses a dress which costs £30,000. He says, severely irritated: "What? £30,000? That's a bit steep."

Example 2:
I said that although I thought the whole thing ought to be done really well and all, I also thought four hundred dollars for a gibbet, on top of the expense for the drinks, invitations, musicians, and everything, was a bit steep, and why didn't we just use a tree -- a nice-looking oak, or something? (Donald Barthelme, American author, 1931-1989)

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with a bit of imagination = with a little imagination = with some imagination, i.e. not much imagination is needed, a litte imagination will be sufficient, i.e. even you can do it LOL

"If you make the least damn bit of noise," replied Samuel, "I will send you to hell." (Hermann Melville)
= even if you make the tiniest noise, i.e. you must be ABSOLUTELY quiet

Jealously, bit by bit, he let the black sand slip away. (Jack London)
bit by bit = little by little = gradually

... bit by bit Molly persuaded her father to let her have French and drawing lessons. (Elizabeth Gaskell)
bit by bit = gradually = little by little

'I shan't enjoy it a bit without you, Liza.' (Maugham)
- I shall not enjoy it at all, not even a little.

'And I don't feel a bit like a humble and pathetic ugly duckling. I do feel like a swan among geese' (D H Lawrence)
= I don't feel at bit like ... = I do not feel at all like ...

"she bit her lip" (Katherine Mansfield)
This is a very frequent expression. It is a sign of embarrassment, especially if you feel like saying something, but suppress that desire.

"For some time after this, he was quieter, more conscious when he drank, more backward from companionship. The disillusion of his first carnal contact with woman, strengthened by his innate desire to find in a woman the embodiment of all his inarticulate, powerful religious impulses, *** put a bit in his mouth***. He had something to lose which he was afraid of losing, which he was not sure even of possessing. This first affair did not matter much: but the business of love was, at the bottom of his soul, the most serious and terrifying of all to him." (D H Lawrence)

"a bit" in this context is a piece of metal which a trained horse has in his mouth and through which the rider can control the horse.
http://www.newrider.com/Starting_Out/Tack/bridle2.jpg

In the above passage, the word "bit" is used in a figurative sense. The sexual experience (which the young man had) put some controlling emotion into his mind, constraining him, in the same way in which a horse can be constrained by the metal bit in his mouth.

A "bit" is also a part of a drill. A drill is a tool for making holes.

"Bit" in information theory

The usages of "bite, bit, bitten" discussed so far are all related to each other. But here are some "words" (or rather acrononyms) which sound the same, but are completely unrelated. They started out as smart acronoms (like NATO = North Atlantic Treaty Organisation, or "laser"), but have become so popular in the field of computing that most people no longer feel them as acronyms but as normal words.

"bit" is the measure of information, i.e. novelty value. It really means "BInary digiT" (BIT), as in binary arithmetic.

8 bits = 1 byte /baɪt/

There is a pun, a play on words, in the origin of these terms. A bit (as explained above) is just very little. A "byte" pronounced like "bite" is more than a bit, namely as much as you can bite off, i.e. a mouthful. But people who have not witnessed the development of these terms out of the original pun of BIT (binary digit) with "bit" (very little) no longer feel the pun in the derivations.

from "byte" larger units were then derived: kilo-bytes (kb), mega-bytes, giga-byes, tera-bytes, etc

eof